I can’t seem to consistently spend time with God.
One week I am enjoying every moment before dawn that I can grab. The next week I am struck with sickness. Such sickness that I can barely move or stay awake. It affects everything and it messes with a disorder that I have which makes me anemic. So weak, so pale, so desperate for strength.
It makes me want to give up.
Then I read in my study and I am humbled. Slow tears form in my eyes and I feel His grace in the depths of my heart.
Job 2:10 “…Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?…” (NLT)
Job has had his first test and his second by this point and his wife doesn’t understand His faithfulness to God. Keeping his integrity.
He doesn’t get mad at God, blame God, or walk away from God. Why?
Then I read this verse and it hits me. Hard.
He accepts what seems good and bad in our eyes. He accepts all that the Lord does in his life. He accepts. He doesn’t understand, but he trusts in the Lord and accepts without the why.
He accepts all of what God allows into his life.
How many times have I walked away from God or avoided God because bad things were happening that I didn’t understand. Many times.
I read that line and I want to be more like Job. I want to accept the things that God allows me to walk through and trust Him through it.
This sickness that set in last week is not over.
I am still weak. I am still sick. Doctors are talking. Appointments are made.
Today I will accept that I need help from others. I will accept this and stay near to the One who loves me like no other.
Psalm 73:26 “My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.”
He is mine forever. I will accept. I will love Him no matter what tomorrow brings. He is mine forever.